Believe Yourself

Women are living in a time of strange contradiction - women have more opportunity than we have ever had before. Young women are taught that they can be and do anything. Schools teach about equality and women’s rights. But the truth is not so simple. The reality that young women are living inside of is far more complicated. Young women are entering the workforce to find out that they are still being sexually harassed. Men with more power than them are still giving them attention in a way that feels messy and unclear. Women have been trained from a young age to not rock the boat, to not make a big deal out of something that does not need to be a big deal, to not upset or offend people. And so, when we enter the workforce and receive attention they do not fully understand, they question whether or not to say something. If they say something right away, they know it will be minimized and they will be told they’re making too big of a deal out of something. Then we will also be cast as too sensitive, too rigid, or not a team player. We all know the narrative well. If women do not say something, then they endure attention that makes them feel uncomfortable. But women are used to doing that, and so often they do. They look around and wonder if anyone else is noticing the confusion, the unfair power dynamics, the inappropriate touch. They can tell that some people are noticing but are also afraid to say something, or are trying not to notice because no one wants to be cast as too sensitive, too rigid, or not a team player. And so, the sexual harassment - or the uncomfortable behavior - continues. And young women are left to tolerate it and ignore the clear signals from their body that something is wrong.

What if we didn’t have to do that? What if we don’t have to ignore the clear signals in our body that something is wrong? What if we could say something and it would stop? What if we were believed? What if our employers had our backs? I believe this is possible.

We know that men who engage in sexual harassment will also minimize their behavior when confronted. But I believe most people do not engage in sexual harassment and most people want the workplace to be free of it. And most people do not know what to do when they observe or experience that something that feels like sexual harassment or uncomfortable behavior that could lead to sexual harassment. Even people working in human resources departments do not know what to do about it (I know, they should know!). So talking about it - with a sexual harassment attorney, a friend, a trusted colleague - is an important step. Beginning to talk about what makes us uncomfortable is a critical step towards decreasing sexual harassment. Because most people - if given an opportunity where they feel safe - agree.